There goes my hero, watch him as he goes.
November 22, 2009
have your thoughts or lips ever stumbled over words you cant even grab a hold of and try to formulate into a small paragraph to describe how you are feeling? actions come to mind and go like the expiration date on news, but words remain absent on sick leave. maybe you are just actually rendered speechless or too shocked to regurgitate anything you already said before on a new situation. the universe must have meant for this 13th to have landed on a friday but in the salt and pepper shaker way the world has of flipping you upside down and surprising you with the outcome (either the perfect amount of seasoning or making life unstomachable), it ended up a tuesday. weirdbeard. tell me a story about a day that went well recently, i havent had any of my own that werent monsters dressing up as candy for halloween. swallowed every one of them and still kept that empty feeling in my stomach, wondering why i never felt satisfied. the wasted weeks and months find a way to flash by blinded eyes, until all thats left behind is dust that has settled around the shape where every important thing used to be. that is about where i am right now. this day has been pretty overwhelming for me, and eye opening too. with blood thirsty thoughts of redemption that buzz like mosquitos on a july summer night, i am battling the simple war morals and ethics- both of which from a market nobody invests in anymore thats about to crash. still i overcompensate and buy in with wide eyes and a heavy heart, as if trying to make up for the stock you sold. its fun to think that at one point we are all good people that either go bad or go to waste. there is no in between. you either are or you aren’t. “id like attention” misheard as or misunderstood for “id like a tension”. drop the bomb on dropping the thoughts that tie down insecurities that want set off to sea yet remain docked at bay. keep them under your palm like an enemy you wouldn’t even lay next to for warmth during a blizzard. save them for a (b)rainy day, let them out to rip apart stupidity in the form of the words “i still want” followed by anything like hungry pit bulls starved for flesh. i think you can relate to that, but mostly the starved for flesh part. nasty boys. sitting out on the cold balcony it all makes sense. so many things i overlooked, like how you add up your self worth anywhere from how many wrinkles from the last body are still in the sheets, to how much longer it takes to replace them with new ones from someone else. be a politician, lie and sneak your way to the top of something that matters, not a random body. your identity kept secret, the only way to stay out of the spotlight is to hide in the dark. im done under covers, and glad i never got caught between yours. recycling your paper hearts and saving your waters by not showering often, this is coming someone that is tired of going to waste and watching the world close around him get wasted (both with beer and with promises), xo pete.
Entry Filed under: Heroisms. .
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